I have been taking of my elderly friend the past few days while she has been in the hospital. In my mind I have composed the beginning of many blogs, but after a line or two I am interrupted. The quiet, the clock ticking, an alarm going off, my friend stirring, or even my own thoughts. The past three and half days this woman has been my life. She reminds me of other two other women in my life; my Grandma Branscomb whom I lost in 1997 and another elderly friend who passed away a couple of years ago named Shirley. All three were almost physically this same. I wasn't with my grandma when she passed away, my memory if my final time with her was good. Shirley I watched struggle, like I am today.
Watching someone struggle and say they want to die is difficult. My heart breaks and I feel helpless. I am helpless. I know I cannot control what happens. I go to God for comfort and strength. Prayers turn to tears. Then my heart knows that I am doing what I can. I am here in this moment for a reason and the reason is not to be in control, but to be. Be the smile. Be the touch. Be the words of comfort. Be the one to pray.